Last week was a liiiiittle heavy, so I thought I would give you all a good chuckle at my expense today to lighten the mood. If you didn’t sing his name when you read the title, we are not the same.
I just want to start by saying no cows were harmed in the making of this blog post or the show where this happened. ALSO, I absolutely love Jason Derulo and admire him as a vocalist... so my bad. *tehe*
You're probably wondering how I ended up in a room with this man and a cow in the first place, so I should probably go back to the beginning.
When I first moved out to LA, I realized very quickly that there are so many simple ways to make money outside of a traditional part time job. One of my favorites little side hustles used to be paid studio audience gigs. For anyone who ever comes out to LA and wants to see a live taping of a show, listen up. Before paying for tickets or even snagging some for free, do a quick search online to see if there are any paid opportunities to attend those shows. I had no idea this was something you could get paid to do, but after attending a few shows for free and finding out everyone else was getting paid — I made sure to never do that again.
I had gotten booked for this “celebrity game show” that would be streaming on Facebook. I had never heard of it before, but honestly I didn’t care. As long as I got that catered lunch and $120 cash, I was cool. The basic premise of the game was a more ~extreme~ version of Truth or Dare. Overall, the experience was a lot of fun. Got to meet my childhood crush, Drake Bell, and talked fashion with Keke Palmer. I really was over the moon. I kept thinking to myself, “Wow. Am I really getting paid to be here? To do this? Really??!”
I felt like I was killing it too. Playing it suuuuuper cool around all of these celebrities I admired and grew up watching. I allllllllmost made it all the way to the end of filming without embarrassing myself, but then Satan had the great idea of incorporating a real, big ass cow into one of the final scenes. This wasn’t a regular cow by the way, it was a “Hollywood“ cow…
L. O. L. Okay…
Anyway, this incredibly boujee cow was not about the tiny studio, bright lights, and the nonsense. HONESTLY I GET IT. I wouldn’t have been about it either. I would have been like someone pleaseeeee take my black and white booty out to greener pastures where I could live my best life. I get it girl. But what I didn’t get was why the Lord would put me in this situation. This cow started swinging and was looking a little too ready to charge.
It all happened so fast...
This cow took one panicked step too many in my direction and I found out that I am neither flight nor fight in an emergency. I’m out here sacrificing anyone and everyone. Jason was right next to me so I kiiiind of took a step backward, grabbed his shoulders, and pushed him closer to the cow. How terrible is that??? You’ll never understand how bad I instantly felt, but at the same time this man probably has much better insurance than me so it really just made the most sense at the time.
I’m sure someone out there is worried about what happened to this man. He was fineeeee. A little shook maybe — pun intended — but he survived unscathed. I guess I should take this moment to formally apologize for my behavior. Jason, I truly am sorry for risking your life to potentially save mine. Kind of a dick move. Promise it will never happen again.
P.S. I'm sure you're dying to see the show that we were filming so I figured I would include the link.