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Parking Wars LA

Hi Friends,

For those of you who didn’t know, street parking in L.A. is a b*tch. Period. So when it comes to a good spot, do I act a little crazy sometimes? Maybe. BUT LISTEN — After you hear what happened, tell me you wouldn’t do the same thing.

It was the top of the pandemic and I was starting to go crazy being locked in my tiny Koreatown apartment, so I made the bold decision to get braids for the first time. Why was this place even open at the time? I don't know, but oh well. I drove about an hour to get there, took several hours to get it done, then drove another hour to get back to my neighborhood.

Now listen... I fully expected it to take me another hour to find parking because unfortunately I did not have a spot at the time. So, when I turned a corner and saw a car getting ready to pull out within a couple blocks of my place, I was BEYOND stoked.

There were no other cars anywhere nearby at the time, but suddenly two drunk females appeared. Each one was carrying a half-empty case of Modelos, wearing an RIP to the homie t-shirt, and enough glitter eye-shadow to make me question whether they had just come from a funeral or a rager… but that’s none of my business.

Things took a turn for the worse rather quickly...

As the car I had patiently been waiting for with my turn signal on FINALLY pulled out of the spot, the two ~lovely~ ladies quickly stepped into a parking spot. All I could think was HELLLLLLLL NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. I waited so long for this spot, long before these hoes ever showed up; but, before I could even blink, Ricky Bobby in a beat-up, low-riding hooptie came from the opposite side of the street and tried to swoop into the spot. (For those of you who have never heard of a hooptie, clearly you’ve never been brokety-broke broke, so look it up.)

The adrenaline was kicking, because, despite seeing this car coming in hot and these two women standing there, I pulled forward to attempt a block. As I did this, the larger of the two sparkly women jumped towards my car and I maaaaaaaaaaaaaay or may not have tapped dat ass, as the kids say. IMMEDIATELY, she started screaming and banging on my passenger window trying to break the glass.

I had a true "I Am Legend" moment. As the creature tried to smash the glass and get to me, I had a decision to make. Do I stay here and fight these two girls, the men in the other car, and risk them damaging my practically new car at the time? Or... do I act like a rational human being, swallow my pride, and give up the spot?

Reallllll quick -- can we acknowledge the fact that for a moment I really contemplated risking my life for a parking spot that I found on the street? Like that's bat-sh*t crazy, but that's just a testament to how difficult it is to find street parking in Koreatown.

I took a breath, put it in reverse, and left.

I was so mad that they really took my spot like that, but at the end of the day, my windows were intact, my car ended up parked, and I lived to see another day with my BOMB ass braids.

Okay, so you probably wouldn’t have done the same thing, but you KNOW you would have been pissed. Anyway… I’ve grown since then — really, I swear. If nothing else I have a place with garage parking, so the streets are safe.

For now…




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