Friends —
Please help me Nancy Drew this situation because I still don't understand what was going on.
L O ~freaking~ L at my life. What was supposed to be my Pretty Woman moment turned out to be more of a Pretty Woman moment if you know what I mean...
I was hanging out with some of my guy friends last week. Since it was, you know, a Tuesday, we were debating between going to a rooftop club or a karaoke bar. As much as I love a rooftop, I wasn’t mad when they ultimately decided they wanted to start with karaoke. I don’t know if you know this, but your girl’s got pipes. As the only girl in the group I was low key ready to bring out the Whitney. The boys started doing their scales and other vocal warmups as we walked outside. Clearly not the best, but hilarious I must admit.
Before I go any further, we MUST acknowledge the fashion. These boys were designer dripped and perfectly styled. I was impressed, but I definitely didn’t expect what was to come next. One of the guys said that he would drive us to the karaoke bar which was great considering Uber and Lyft prices have been insane lately.
This man had a Rolls Royce…
LIKE WHAT? My broke ass had to wait for someone else to open the door because I had absolutely no idea what was going on or who I thought I was at this point. Do you think I hid it well that this was my first time…? *dead* It took everything in me not to take a video of the sparkly ceiling. A “wooow” slipped out at one point. One of the guy’s responded “it looks like Christmas, huh?” and my dumbass said “yeaaaah”. *LOL*
It was only a 10 minute drive, but I was soaking it all in. As we got closer, one of the guys asked me if I had ever been to karaoke before. I said I had, but normally just watched. Everyone started laughing, but I genuinely thought they just thought I was funny — because I am — and kept it moving.
We parked in the garage and then headed to the elevator to take us to the main floor. There were soooo many Fashion Nova b*tches in the garage. I thought it was weird since, again, it was a Tuesday… but whatever. Some girls in LA are just like that 24/7 and that's great. Love that for them. Cool.
Once we got to the front door of the karaoke bar, the manager pulled one of the guys aside before letting us in. They were talking for a little while, but to me it sounded like they were settling up from a previous nights tab. After things seemed to have been cleared up, the guy walked back over to our group and ~jokingly~ said that he had to pay extra since they don’t normally let “regular“ girls into this place.
First thought was you can miss me with that peasant sh*t if you’re being serious because I don’t know who you all thought I was but I’m not regular by any means. Second thought was this man is OBVIOUSLY joking because the first thought just wasn’t an option.
We walk into our private room and my happiness returned. Fresh fruit and the best tequila right there on the table waiting for me. I mean look at me!! Out here with these three men that can clearly afford a life I can’t and I get to just enjoy it for free? No strings attached? Say less.
I was on cloud nine for about 3 minutes then sh*t took a left. A group of 2 girls walked in. Me, being an idiot, thought they must have stumbled into the wrong room. Then, this man tells the one girl she can stay and the other she can go — AND THIS GIRL REALLY JUST WALKED OUT. I was like wait whaaaaat?? Then, nervous Courtney said “LOL did you really bring me to a brothel?” I was half joking… but also not. That was quickly met with "of course not!", so I kept it moving.
I tried to take his response and go with it; however, it was harder to believe as more groups of girls came through and were given a yes or no. I got reaaaal awkward at this point and said I wanted to pick the next person so I could feel “involved“. *cringe.. I know* I really just didn’t know what to do at that point and was trying to pretend it was normal.
Maybe an hour in, all of the boys were coupled up with these girls from the hallway. Everyone started getting touchy and that was my cue to leave. I didn’t know what was about to happen, but I just knew there was absolutely no way my God-fearing behind was going to be a part of it.
When I was waiting at the back elevator to leave, a couple girls were heading out and a new batch were heading in. They were so drunk and could barely stand up straight. They kept talking about how hot they were as I felt the goosebumps on my arms — it was freezing. Internally freaking out is an understatement for what was happening. I was so excited to get off the elevator and head home.
You want to know that part that really bothered me? NOT A SINGLE SONG WAS SUNG. How are we about to go to karaoke and not sing a freaking song?? So disrespectful… *eye roll*
Love,
Coco